I am sharing this testimony to glorify the one who saved my life, Jesus Christ and to expose the enemy's wickedness  and how there is a pattern of the enemy attacking people from childhood.

I grew up as the only girl child in my family and I had loving parents, grand parents and family. My grand parents were catholics and therefore I grew up Catholic as they pretty much raised me up from an early age as my parents worked so hard to try and give us a better life.

They told us stories about Jesus and about good and evil and the reality of heaven and hell. That always stuck with me as a kid. I was so fascinated by the kids bible and I remember going to kids church and also my aunt teaching us bible stories.

In my early years, me and my younger brother were epileptic and we'd have epileptic seizures. We were in and out of hospital so many countless times. It was a difficult time for the family and thankfully that stopped just before I went to primary school, thank God!

Not going into too much detail, someone took advantage of me at an early age and I felt my innocence was taken away and that opened a door to so many things and the enemy brought that situation to my life to manipulate me and to keep me away from God and to create fear, anxiety, shame and guilt.

Soon after, I started to have nightmares, sleep paralysis and felt like I was being attacked in my sleep. In that state, I'd try and scream and call out to my parents as I was now living with them but no voice would come out. I confided in my brother about this and surprisingly, he told me he was experiencing the same thing at night.

I used to get scared to go to bed and when I did, I would be so terrified to get up when I needed the loo as I felt a presence at times or worried that something would happen to me. So that resulted in me bed wetting until I started high school. This was so embarrassing for me as a young girl. Growing up in Africa, my parents thought
disciplining me would help as they assumed it was behavioural but it didn't work. They didn't know about the abuse or my fears. I kept all that hidden from them due to fear and I felt guilty and full of shame because of what happened. Somehow, the enemy had convinced me that it was all my fault. No one knew that what was happening was all because I was held down by a spirit of fear which entered me through abuse.

This didn't stop at bed wetting but I became so shy, fearful of people and hid in a shell. I didnt like crowds and so at school I only had a couple of friends.

When I was about 12 or 13 years old, I started experiencing proper demonic attacks and I'd be sitting at home in the middle of the day and the room would suddenly become so dark that I couldn't see anything, so I'd scream because I felt surrounded by what looked like and felt like utter darkness and I believed that I was dying, well, that's what the voice, (which now I know was a demonic spirit) was telling me..this went on for almost a year and I missed a lot of my education that year.

My family didn't know what it was and they were worried. They tried all sorts to help me including taking me to African "healers" but that didn't help, they took me to the " faith church healers" and nothing worked. I say the words " faith church healers" quite loosely here as now looking back, nothing they did represented Christ! So no wonder I didn't experience deliverance or healing.

I remember one of my cousins calling me aside and she was so young herself bless her, but she had accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Saviour and believed in His healing power. So she asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus Christ as Lord of my life and I said yes. She told me that I wouldn't have to be afraid anymore as Jesus would protect me, take care of me and heal me and deliver me. She even said, if the family tell you that they are taking you to these "healers" just say no as you belong to Jesus now.

I agreed and I didn't want to go to these "healers" anymore as whatever they did wasn't working for me. I had also started going to my cousins church and going to Sunday school and loved it but I didn't attend regularly.

Anyway whenever these attacks happened ( they happened any time of the day but especially at night time) I started to cry out Jesus when I felt the attack coming and just saying Jesus helped me and the darkness would fade. My parents continued to seek help for me as they were desperate but I believe the Lord had already delivered me but I was a child and I didn't know how to express that especially as they didn't know the Lord at the time.

Sure enough, God healed me and I went back to school and all praise to Jesus as I took my end of year exams and I actually passed..the mercy of God!

I remember when I started high school, I was going to different churches really. One day, a man came to preach the gospel to our house and I gave my life to Jesus and got baptised. I was on fire for the Lord. All I wanted to do was preach His word and I was fearless and full of courage and boldness. I remember at times at the age of 15 how I'd actually get up and lead a service in church and lead the worship team. I just loved the Lord and the church. I saw many miracles, just a great move of God!

My mum had received the Lord as well and got baptised in the Holy spirit and has never looked back ever since. So my family became a praying household and we experienced God's healing power.

I learned to trust and rely on God especially in Africa where there is shortage of medicines etc. When you had a headache you didnt think of medication as there was none anyway but you pray and healing comes from God and we did receive healing in the name of Jesus. Same with food, you'd have no food and pray and ask the Lord and the Lord would, by miracle bring someone with bags full of food, from people who didn't know our situation. I saw God's power at work with my own eyes. So there was no denying that God is real or denying His power.

Our church used to do street evangelism as well as crusades and I saw people set free from illnesses and demonic oppression and also witnessed people giving their lives to the Lord. My pastor then, would preach and I'd interpret and we'd see people leave come to hear the gospel and get saved. So there was no denying the presence of God as I saw those things with my own eyes.

In year 2000, my father moved to the UK and after I finished my GCSEs I moved to the UK to join him. Life wasn't easy as it had looked on tv, especially being of a different race. We experienced some racism where we lived at the time. I wanted to go back to Africa as I also missed my family but because of many issues and also social economical issues I had to stay.

I found life in the UK so lonely, very few people went to Church. In fact, it was mainly the older people in their 80s who filled the churches, the young ones didn't go to church. I had gotten used to the fact that Sunday is a day of worship but I soon realised that it wasn't the case in England.

Unfortunately I stopped going to church as well and I became even more lonely and withdrawn, no friends, no college and no job. That went on for a while and I'd spend most of my time in my room crying and dreaming about being back in Africa.

Eventually, that all changed, praise God and we found a church and found friends. I started going to that Church and same as the church at home, they believed in evangelising, in prayer and fasting and I soon took part in all of that. I believed in the Lord Jesus and saw His power at work in my life as he lifted off the depression.

Looking back, yes I was going to church, as had been my routine for some time but I'm not sure if I actually knew the Lord Jesus, as in, I didnt really devote myself to study His word or seek Him for Him or for that personal Relationship with Him. It had all become routine and religious for me rather than actually seeking God.

I would "cherry pick" scriptures that related to my prayer request needs and then pray about my needs to God and then I'd go to church and volunteer where I could. At home I'd sometimes fast and pray over my needs. My walk with the Lord was on a need basis,that is, I sought Him for what He could do for me not for who He is. And by His mercy the Lord would answer my prayers but after that I would turn away and not really follow Him or His will for my life.

Fast forward 2005, I met a wonderful, funny, young guy at work and we became friends then we started dating. It was hard as I knew he wasn't a follower of Jesus but I thought I'll pray for him as I had fallen in love with him and the Lord will change him. Sure enough, he started opening up to Christianity and I was so pleased and we ended up getting married in 2008.

Like any other marriage, the early years were wonderful but tough at times especially as I wasn't walking with the Lord Jesus much. The Lord wasn't center of my life anymore. I tried other things to fill that void, like travelling, music etc.Unfortunately I stopped going to church altogether. I would occasionally pray, again, just for any needs I had and not to seek the Lord. We were happy but could have been happier with the Lord. The Lord was so merciful to us and protected us from so much, illnesses and accidents etc.

One thing that still lacked in my life was a family, kids of our own. This time I tried again to use my formula of coming to the Lord for what He could give me but it didn't work. I tried going back to church with my mother who had also moved to the UK.

However, I found church triggered even so much pain as it was full of young couples with young kids or babies. I became resentful and angry inside and started listening to the lies of the enemy telling me that God has favouritism and that He's forgotten me and doesn't hear my prayers.

The enemy started to fully attack at this stage and I gave up on going to church. I must say that my mum and friends and some family members saw that I was struggling and they kept seeking the Lord on my behalf and for that I am forever thankful and I can only encourage people to pray as I've seen the power of prayer.

Because I'd stopped seeking the Lord and my husband who was in early stages of Christianity also stopped, we went even hard on listening to secular music, mainly heavy metal music, which is, from my opinion demonic, I say this because now looking back, most of it is anti-christ and also promotes drinking and so much wickedness like witchcraft, which is so against the word of God. But I was trying to fit in, to fill a void which I didn't realise that no one and nothing else can fill it except God.

Some may say it's just music but I've realised that, this is not the case, the enemy uses that as a gateway and he absolutely did..to me and my husband. We'd go out with new friends to pubs and watch a gig where they played heavy metal music and I soon got so heavily into that. That was always accompanied by drink..one drink here and another one there , nothing harmful and so I thought! It's just a bit of fun and unwinding with friends I called it..little did I know that the enemy had other plans.

In 2015, I got hit so hard with depression, I couldn't eat much or sleep and nothing seemed to help. I went from loving life, exercising and "glamorous" lifestyle to not caring much about anything .Nothing made sense and I was so overcome with feelings of worthlessness as a wife because of childlesness, I felt guilt and shame and felt I had let everyone down including my husband, parents and family and friends. I tried to avoid them as much as I could because I felt my life hadn't worked out how they had visualised it, so shame was around me again.

I went to the doctor and received anti depressants which made me feel worse and I gained weight and had agonising headaches. So I decided to stop taking them and found my own way of "dealing" with my issues and that was drinking. I'd drink and feel "great" and no care in the world. I thought well anyway that's how we deal with things in my family as there's history of heavy drinking. So I followed that pattern as a copying mechanism, not realising that it was also part of a generational curse that the enemy had set me up for and to trap me into that to destroy my life.

The enemy is real and hates humanity with a vengeance as we are the likeness of God. People try to down play his reality or tricks and that's how he operates, by convincing us that he's not real and that you deserve a little fun here and there.

I'm not saying as Christians we should not have fun but I mean we must be wise as I and so many other people have realised that this stuff is real. The Lord Jesus is so real, so so real and the enemy and his demons are real too and there is a daily fight for your soul!

So what started as a copying mechanism (drinking)ended up becoming an addiction and
I couldn't stop as the drinking got worse. I became what they call a "functioning alcoholic ", in that, I still did all the stuff like going to work etc but night time was my time with the bottle or rather bottles..from wine to hard liquor (whisky) and there was no stopping. That was always accompanied by secular music.

Covid came and the situation got worse. I soon realised that alcohol was taking everything from me, my precious time with my husband, family,friends, my health, my money, everything.

At that point I wasn't even thinking about God for help and had listened to the lies of the enemy telling me that God wont help me anyway.

Whenever people tried to tell me about God and His love, I felt resentful and thought why isn't He changing my life then and giving me what I want. But you see, I was the one who had shifted position not Him, He'd remained where I'd left Him and didn't move as He never changes but we are the ones who move, but I didn't want to hear.

When I realised how bad things were I kept trying to quit but there was no change. I'd try to not drink for at least one day or 2 days a week but it was a real struggle. The enemy had me trapped. I soon realised how much of a problem I had. I couldnt tell my family or friends because I didnt know how they would take it and if they would try to use harsh words and that would have sent me over the edge even more.

So I tried to hide it but inside I was hurting as I could see the damage already on my body etc. I went to the doctors and they advised me to see a counsellor, I did but it didn't work for me. I tried self enrolment to go to Alcoholic Annonymous called AA but they asked a lot of questions not relating to drink and it put me off as I wanted help there and then. Looking back I understand as they need to do an assessment first. They advised me to not just quit drinking as that would cause so many issues for me, even heart attack. They informed me that the damage was done and for me to stop drinking I would need a step by step guide and help from my doctor. I knew then that things had gotten very serious.

This time I wasn't just dealing with issues in my home or drink or work. The enemy made sure to remind me of my past and what I encountered as a child. All the feelings that I had buried as a child, the abuse, the hurtful comments from people about the way I looked, all of it came back.

That was difficult to deal with especially with the drink. I realised how much baggage I was carrying. I thought who's gonna help me. I looked at other people of different faiths and envied how they don't drink and aren't allowed drink in their culture or religion and I wondered if I should join them. I didnt care what people would think as I was just so desperate to stop drinking and would have tried anything.

The anxiety that came with heavy drinking was so high. I'd shake and wake up in the morning not sure what time I had gone to bed or how I even got upstairs to bed.

Sometimes I'd wake up with bruises on my arms or wake up on the sofa at 4am after having drunk all night. My husband had tried and pleaded with me but he saw that being firm with me was only going to push me further away. So he became so compassionate and what I'd feel was guilt for not spending time with him or my family. I'll forever be so grateful to God for my husband.

Now I have more understanding of people who are in addiction because there is always an underlying root. No one wakes up in the morning and decides to wreck their lives with substance abuse over nothing. There is always a deeper issue and that is what you need to deal with. Go to Jesus with it and let Him heal you and deliver you.

Anyway in the mornings and during the day when i was off work, I'd spend all day in bed feeling ill after a hard session of heavy drinking the night before. Like I said, I no longer had time for anyone, my husband, my family or friends or myself. So I'd scroll on social media trying to numb my pain, guilt and shame whilst waiting for the evening so I could start again to drink and numb the pain..it was a vicious horrible cycle! The enemy had me trapped.

But this day, something was different.. every social media page I scrolled on eg Instagram  etc all I saw was pain in the world and how evil had taken over the world and there's so much abuse and wickedness and basically everything we know to be true just isn't, for most of the time.

For the first time, I realised how, we as humanity had become so wicked and the only one righteous and full of love was Jesus. I suddenly felt like my eyes were opened and I realised how I'd become one of those people who'd left the Lord after everything He'd done for me on the cross and the world by dying for us to reconcile us back to the Father.

For the first time in my life, this all became so real, it wasn't a story anymore but a reality that Christ died for me and He loves me, He loves everyone and is calling all of us to Him but we are turning our backs from Him and that crushed me!!

I felt in my spirit a voice saying are you going to be one of those people or you will follow the Lord? You have to choose and there's no middle ground or one foot in and one foot out. The voice ( who I now know that it was the Holy spirit) spoke to me again and said Jesus Christ can set you free and can deliver you from drinking and He absolutely loves you, so get up right now from your bed and renounce this demonic spirit of drinking that's holding you down and and surrender to Jesus.

I listened, I got up from my bed and I just didn't care if my neighbours could hear me or not but I screamed and shouted at the top of my voice, " you demonic spirit of drinking I command you out of my life right now in Jesus name", you'll not have a hold over my life anymore!

As soon as I said that, I felt something shift. I knelt down on the floor and I cried out to Jesus and asked Him to forgive my sins and for Him to be my Lord and Saviour again .

I experienced what I can only describe as a rush of love flooding my heart. I felt peace and I knew from that moment in my heart that after years of trying to quit drinking I was now delivered and that I was never going to drink again ever in my life. I knew that the Lord had delivered me.

I can't describe it in words but all I can say is that I have never ever experienced so much love in my entire life, my parents love me from the moment they had me, my husband, grandparents etc they love me with a genuine love but it nothing compared to the love of Christ. It wasn't the same kind of love. This was so different, it was so complete, so pure, not judging, so liberating, it came like a wave and I cried so much. I felt sooooo LOVED by the Lord Jesus and that was enough for me. I felt like the Lord Jesus was physically there with me and hugging me.

I also felt the Lord say that I need to share with people and tell them how much He loves them and to preach His word. At that time I hadn't been reading the scriptures but a verse that says " the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few" and I felt a calling from the Lord and I accepted to do whatever He wants me to do to share His gospel.

I cried and cried and I got up so quickly and got ready and got a taxi and went to my mums house. As soon as she opened the door, I started crying. She was worried and panicked and said what's happened and I said nothing mum nothing. I came to tell you that I didn't realise that God is so real and that He loves me so much. He loves us all so much. She said I told you, We both cried and knelt down and thanked God and praised Him..I told her as well that the Lord wants us to share about His love and mercy and that He's coming back soon.

I still didn't share my testimony with her as I thought it's too early and I don't want to scare her as it was a lot. I had to pray and wait and the Holy spirit is the one who guided me and then told me to start sharing with people when I did and that was a while. Even I myself was still trying to process everything and to grasp what had actually happened before I could share with people.

What followed after that was a TOTAL life transformation. I never ever touched or desired drink anymore from that moment and it's been neay 4 years or so..and what's happened after that has been nothing but God's power at work in my life.

The Lord healed my broken heart, gave me the grace to forgive people for everything that was done to me and also for myself to own up to the mistakes I made.

It was a long healing process but the Lord took me through it all. It was like therapy with Jesus, the best kind, all for free! Some things that were deeply rooted in me that I'd even forgotten about, He brought them up to the surface and delivered me Himself and healed me. He took away all the past trauma and brokenness and made me a new woman in Christ!

The Lord also delivered me from nightmares and demonic dreams that the enemy had used to terrorise me. 

What I want the reader to understand is that, I did nothing, Jesus did it all! He is the one who changed my life by His mercy and love and now I get to live for Him, absolutely amazing!

God has been using me to encourage others in faith and also in prayer ministry to encourage others to come to Him for them to know that He is real.

I've seen miracles happening in my life through the power of prayer. But you see, I don't chase after miracles now anymore like I used to. The miracles follow me and all who beleive! In the bible it says that signs and wonders WILL FOLLOW those who believe not the other way round..we shouldn't pursue signs but seek the Lord with genuine heart. Love the Lord with all your heart, mind and strength. Put Him first and you'll see what He does with your life. Put Him at the center of your worship.

My husband, well, that's another God miracle because the Lord ministered to his heart as well around the same time too. No one, not even I reminded him of the Lord or Christianity but he felt a prompting/conviction in his heart to get rid of every evil music that he'd been listening to all his life and dedicate his life to the Lord and that's exactly what happened praise God.

My life belongs to Jesus Christ now. I love Him so much that you can keep the world, the money, the successes of this world etc, all I want is Him. I love Him not because of what He can do for me but because He's my Lord and Saviour who died for me to reconcile me back to the Father. He loved me first and knew me before I was born. I made mistakes, a lot, but His Grace is so sufficient and He's so kind. He's the only one who looks at me and loves me and doesn't cast me away from His presence but showers me with Love..how can I not love Him!

See, I used to be so full of pride as well and the old me simply wouldn't even have shared this testimony in fear of being judged but the Lord took that away and made me realise its not about me anymore, it's all HIStory now..its His Story now.

I can't stop but have to share with the world on how Jesus saves, delivers, redeems. Jesus is everything. My whole life now is all about Him, from getting up in the morning to going to bed, I love because He First loved me. I'm not perfect but I thank God that I'm not where I used to be and I won't stop where I am as He is shaping me and moulding me each day to be like Him.

All glory to His Holy name. I wouldn't be alive without Him. He truly loves us and there's nothing we have done that He cannot forgive us. No one is beyond saving. He's so gently but He's calling us all to repentance because you see, the world has blinded us but He really is coming back soon. Take a look around and you'll see signs everywhere. Seek Him today. The successes of this world means nothing. He says in His word, what would it profit a man to gain everything and lose his soul?

The other thing that the Lord has revealed to me is that, demonic spirits are real, the enemy is real who comes in through secular music, drinking etc..we have to be wise and guard our hearts and minds..the Lord came to give us life and life to the full but the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy. (John 10v10)

Jesus Christ is coming back soon and this world has nothing to offer us but He is offering us eternal life through Him. We need to be ready for His return..in Mark 13 v36 He says " if he (referring to Himself) comes suddenly, do not let Him find you sleeping".

May you be encouraged by my testimony. If He can do it for me, whatever you are facing in life He can do it for you and can meet you where you are at. And please see Jesus in this testimony as I did nothing, He deserves all the Glory! I am not ashamed of His gospel or to share my testimony because it proves the power of Christ.

Some may ask if I'd change anything in my past, all the drinking etc if I had a chance to. The answer is I honestly don't know, yes it was tough but it led me to Jesus Christ, to know Him and have a relationship with Him not because of what He can do for me, but to really get to know HIM personally.

Jesus Christ is alive and I've experienced Him, He is not a baby in a manger and He's not on the cross, He rose from the dead and is very much alive and seated at the right hand of the Father, our Father, God! He's given us His Holy spirit who counsels us, guides us into all truth and comforts us, He is with us all the time.

The Lord Sees Everything, He Hears everything and He Knows Everything!

If you dont know Jesus Christ and you would love to know Him, seek Him by praying, Lord Jesus I ask that you come into my life and change me and make me a new creation in you. I believe that you are the son of God who came to this earth, were crucified and died and rose again. I make you my Lord and Saviour from today in Jesus name, Amen.. if you've prayed this prayer please reach out to let me know so I can pray for you as well.

If you think this is not real, that God isnt real, I dare you to try calling on Jesus,ask Him if Hes real and ask Him to reveal Himself to you Hes real. And I promise you that He will, you have nothing to lose. And when He reveals Himself to you please reach out to share your testimony or experience. And yes I used the word when not if. Because unlike other gods or idols, my God is real and He shows up when we call on Him!

And remember, an invitation to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ isn't about religion, it's about knowing Him and having a relationship with Him!

If you need prayer or if you have questions about God please reach out as I'd love nothing but to help and pray for you.

God loves you and no one is too far gone for God or has committed too many sins or too broken for God to heal or save or deliver.

 

Grace and peace
Amandax